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The Bunkest/Episodes/Season 1: Pilot
"Pilot" is the first episode of the first season of The Bunkest. Synopsis It's the series premiere. Transcript (Slow pan out to a small desert city. We see the Bunkmates minus Faves, UMG and Moon Snail standing around in the city square) Jasmine: Well, we're back in America! Ace: And now that we've finally defeated the Autotunerz, everything is back to normal! (sees Donald Trump on a TV screen) .....Well, not really. But we can finally return to our old Bunker. (cut to the gang standing in front of a Chilli's, which is where the Bunker used to be?) Ace: WHAT?!!? HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?! TS: We *did* send The Bunker with us to space... Bob: Which ended up getting destroyed on the island later. So I guess they built a Chili's over the place. Ace: Ugh, and they couldn't even build a GOOD restaurant over it? Prof. Wright: Hey, Chili's isn't a terrible restaurant. However, with my Time Reset 3000, it can be an even worse restaurant, like so! Jasmine: Wait, Prof. Wright, no! (Time has been reset. We're back to the gang standing in front of a DQ restaurant where the Bunker used to be) Ace: WHAT?!!? HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?! TS: We *did* send The Bunker with us to space... Bob: Which ended up getting destroyed on the island later. So I guess they built a DQ Restaurant over the place. Ace: Ugh, and they couldn't even build a GOOD restaurant over it? Prof. Wright: Told ya so! Ace: (squints at Prof. Wright) Well now where are we gonna go? Moon Snail: (from offscreen) Guys, I have a solution! (Everyone gasps as Moon Snail walks up) Moon Snail: Moon Snail is baaaaaaaack! And I suggest we build a even Bunker Bunker! Ace: Oh hell no, not you again. Er- I mean, of course we do. But the big question is where will we even put the dang place. Phineas: (offscreen) We have a solution for that! (everyone gasps as Phineas and Ferb walk onto the scene with blueprints in their arms) Phineas: We found some land over outside of town we can build a new place on! Jasmine: Hell yeah!!!! Let's go! (montage of the gang going to the land and building the new Bunker. After that, everyone admires their work) Bob: It's beautiful. What should we call it? Moch: The Bunker.....2.0. Bob: Nah we already used that. The Bunker-er? Ace: Nooo. Jasmine: I got it! We call it...The Bunkest! (everyone agrees as the camera pans up to the sky and the logo shows up. The extended theme song plays as the gang checks out the place, goof off, and whatnot.) Jasmine: Not bad! Not bad at all... Bob: Wait, we're one room short! Where's Moon Snail gonna live!? Moon Snail (Outside): You guys are fine! (The Bunkmates walk out to see that Moon Snail has dug an entire goddamn cave system.) Moon Snail: Check it out! Bob: How did you- But- Ah, forget it. (Moon Snail digs through his cave and finds Faves' skeleton) Moon Snail: GOOD LORD WHAT IS THAT!? Bob: What!? Moon Snail: Oh, it's just a pebble. Thought it was a bug. *Flicks a pebble away* Oh yeah, there's a skeleton, too. Eh. *Throws it into the dumpster* Now to decorate! Hmm... Maybe I should call for some help. (Moon Snail pulls a phone out and calls Flametail) Moon Snail: Hey, Flametail, honey... Turns out this is a new home. Suppose you could help bring our belongings over to here? ...Well, then get some help! ...Oh yeah, I'm in Bunker Desert... In some sand dunes in a state park in Delaware. ...Okay, thanks! Take care, sweetie! *Hangs up* (A fox, a cat, and a Marten pop out of a hole in Moon Snail's grotto.) Moon Snail: (Shocked) Who the hell are you three? And how did you get here? ???: I'm sorry mister. I'm Ivy, the cat is Heather and the marten is her pet Murloc. We kinda got loss in a set of tunnels, and one happened to lead here. Forgive us! Moon Snail: It's fine. You can live with the rest of us! Heather: Your joking. Ivy: I don't think he isn't (Ivy and Heather high five.) ("Welcome to the Bunkest" is sung.) (Cut to Ace and Bob with a frozen Digiorno's pizza box) Ace: We could cook this at 325F for 30 seconds, OR we could cook this at 50000F for about 30 minutes! Bob: There's no way the box actually says that. Ace: Nope it's right here in firey bolded print. (We see that part of the box) Bob: Hmm, if the box says you can do it, I suppose it's safe...? Ace: Yeah, lemme turn the oven on real quick. (puts it at 50000F and presses Start) Madi: Hey guys, could you help me out? There seems to be a problem with the plumbing in this house. (Pan over to a car crashed into the kitchen sink.) Bob: Holy shit! Ace: So THAT explains the draft and the water everywhere. Flametail: Oh, sorry 'bout that. May I ask where Moon Snail is? Ace: That cavern outside of here. Flametail: Alright. Thanks! *Drives over to Moon Snail's grotto* Moon Snail, we're here! Moon Snail: Oh, splendid! *Runs out* It's great to see you again! Madi: '''Can you fix the kitchen sink for me? '''Moon Snail: Maybe lady. And who the hell are you? Madi: Name's Madi. Me, my Pokémon, and my pet cat Papa John were stowaways in someone's luggage for reasons I don't want to talk about. I came here because it looked like my happy place. (Back to Ace and Bob) Bob: Huh. Ace: Yeah. Oh SHIT I gotta go downstairs real quick. Bob: What for? Ace: I gotta see if my good pants are down there. You know, the ones with hammerspace. Bob: I thought all your pants had hammerspace? Ace: They do, but these pants only have swarms of lizards. (Pulls out a ton of lizards) See? Bob: Wow, alright. I'll put the pizza in then. Ace: Sweet! See ya then! (runs out of the room) (Cut to a teenager and a lab rat hiding inside a laundry hamper.) The rat: Pixel, remind me why we're hiding in a sweaty hamper? (The teenager, revealed to be Pixel, shushes the other person inside.) Pixel: Quiet! I was already kicked out of several other houses, and Venomous probably can't trust me with you at this point. Do you want us to be found out, Fink? (The lab rat, Fink, falls silent and grumbles.) (Ace walks down the stairs to where the laundry hamper is, using a flashlight to navigate.) Ace: Do-dah-do-do, looking for my pants, talking to myself. (They shuffle close to the hamper, looking down at it.) Ace: Did I throw them in here? (The hamper starts to rumble, and the teenager falls out of it with the rat in their arms.) Ace: Since when did our hamper become a hammerspace for teens and rat creatures?! (The teenager looks up at Ace, their face blood red with fear.) Pixel: I'm sorry, I'm not stalking you guys or trying to act creepy, I need a place to live because my parents kicked me out and nobody will take me in for no longer than a day. Ace: I'll have to talk with the others letting you in to live with us. What's your name, by the way? Pixel: I'm Pixel, and this right here is Fink. (they hold up Fink) I'm responsible for looking after her because her guardian is on an eternal business trip of some sort. Ace: Ah, nice to meet you! Stay right there, I'll let the bunkmates know about you. Pixel: Great! Thank you! (their pupils turn into yellow stars due to being overjoyed) Wait, right in the hamper, orrr. (Cut to Moon Snail signing a contract for a McDonald's franchise in the Bunkest, Ace is running by and takes a look.) Ace: Moon Snail, you're getting us our own McDonald's? Moon Snail: Yeah. Ace: Cool! But Bob and I were just making pizza- WAIT SHIT I FORGOT ABOUT THAT- (An explosion is heard offscreen) Bob: (offscreen) DIGIORNO'S LIED TO MEEE! (Cut to Ace and Jasmine walking downstairs) Ace: Well, Jasmine and I told the rest about you. Jasmine: And we have the okay to say you and your rat companion are allowed to stay for as long as you like! Pixel: Perfect! Thank you both so much, I don't know how I'll ever repay you. (Pixel runs upstairs with Fink in one arm and a luggage in another.) Jasmine: Just a quick check-over. Do we all have food? Madi (Holding a handful of candy): Yes! Bob, covered in smoke and holding a burnt pizza: Uhhh, that's...Debatable. Jasmine: Do we all have a room? Tornadospeed (From his room): Yes! Jasmine: Do we all have entertainment? BJ '''(Turning the TV on): Yes! '''Jasmine: Do we all have self-esteem? Moon Snail: ...No. Jasmine: Alright! We're all set! Time to settle in at last! Everyone: Yay! Ace: And to celebrate, I'm going to get the popcorn I started cooking at 3000F in the microwave! (runs to the kitchen) Bob: ACE, WAIT! (the kitchen blows up, again) (everyone, now covered in smoke, sings the extended version of It's Gonna Be Fine) Next Episode Preview BJ: Next time, we try to hook up Mayor Lionheart and Chief Bogo and fulfill the Bogoheart prophecy.... Ace: And stop YTPs from taking over our dialogue! Both: Next time on The Bunkest, “Feline Boyfriend”. BJ: Quite the second adventure, right Ace? Ace: Uh-huh. Category:The Bunkest Category:The Bunkest Episodes Category:The Bunkest Season 1